A Curious Fellow.

Well, The Education of Hyman Kaplan certainly has started off interestingly. It seems like it's going to be quite a curious tale and I'm excited to see what the actual story will be about. Right now, it seems like we've had a lot of exposition and character development and background, but no plot development whatsoever. After the first two chapters I realized that this book reminds me of the Amelia Bedelia series I used to read as a child. Amelia Bedelia is loveable maid who tries so hard to do a good job, but always misunderstands her boss' instructions. Puns are involved. Each book is filled with short stories about Amelia's trials and tribulations and they always end with Amelia doing something totally crazy that makes no sense. The story of Hyman Kaplan thus far seems very similar. Hyman is just as loveable and positive and just as completely unaware of himself as Amelia. Small chapters, each documenting a moment of Hyman Kaplan's schooling that ends in hilarity, are all I've seen thus far. While they are amusing, I do hope that more will be explained and the story will become more of a page-turner.

Q1: What is the significance of Hyman's obsession with color?

Q2: Where is Kaplan from?

new blog: better hopefully! http://givemeabite.typepad.com/

Little variation.

I literally ate nachos all day today.

Back.

It's been really hard to start this blog back up after such a long hiatus, but demand has been so high that I can't let it go un-updated in good conscience. Plus, I promised Katie P two entries by Saturday morning at 8 am with serious consequences if I don't deliver. I'll give no excuses concerning my laziness, I'll only say I'm going to try to do better. I'm turning over new leaves left and right starting with this one.

One of the main reasons for my absence was an actual physical absence as I went on a two week vacation to the White Mountains of New Hampshire. I went with my dad, step mom and two little brothers. We had a grand old time filled with hiking, kayaking, lounging, and of course, eating. Before I left I decided I was going to take full advantage of my time away from the lure of Joe's Inn meals and try to eat healthier. I think it worked to some extent or another, although pizza was involved quite a bit. I'll get to all that eventually, for right now it's best that I start at the very beginning....a very good place to start.

We left Virginia Beach, my hometown, at about 8 pm and drove through the night in a cramped van stuffed to the gills with unnecessary items and no air conditioning. After awkward attempts at sleeping with a seatbelt choking me in the oddest places we arrived in Tilton, New Hampshire, home of my dad's step mother, at about 9 am. Before the obligatory visit with her, we went to our favorite breakfast place to re energize. Pauli's is this tiny diner in the heart of the very small town of Tilton. From the outside it looks like not much, with a cartoonish painting of eggs and bacon on the outside window. The inside, however, is chock full of options. Their menu is huge with every breakfast combo you could ever want, including kielbasa polish sausage. Where do you ever see that on a menu? Kielbasa takes me back to my childhood where my mom would boil some up with potatos and carrots and we would sit down with an array of dipping sauces and go to town. In addition to Kielbasa, and other breakfast meats, Pauli's makes their own toast with the options of white, wheat, dark rye, cinnamon raisin, and anadama. Anadama, you may ask? I was also curious and decided to try it. Anadama bread, as I later looked up in my food lover's companion is a traditional bread of New England made with flour, cornmeal, and molasses. My book also spouts an old wives tale concerning the origin of the name. "This bread was created by a New England farmer plagued by a lazy wife who served him the same cornmeal-molasses gruel every day. One morning, the disgusted farmer grabbed the bowl of gruel, tossed in some flour and yeast, and began stirring like crazy, all the while muttering angrily, 'Anna, damn 'er.'" How do you like that? Anyway, the point is...this bread was out-of-control delicious. I can't stop thinking about it. I wonder if anyone makes it around Richmond. I guess I could always look. In addition to toast, for my actual meal I got a huge veggie omelet that I shared with my step mom Kema. It was delicious. One bummer is that in New England when you ask for hot sauce, the only kind anyone really has is Tabasco. Not my fave, but it had to do. After Pauli's, full and happy as clams, my family piled back into the van and went to my grandmother's. Upon arriving we discovered that not only had she forgotten entirely that we were coming, but she was also headed out to lunch. We figured it was best to just pretend that we hadn't just eaten without her, so feigned hunger and went along with her to her favorite haunt, The Soda Shoppe. I ordered a house salad and cottage cheese and everyone else got soup or something small, with the exception of my growing teenage brother Nick who ordered a 20 $ fried seafood extravaganza. He proved to be a serious hog for the rest of the trip, eating everything that crossed his path.

After parting company with my grandmother, we happily moved on to our true destination, North Conway, New Hampshire where we rent a lake house from a family friend. After settling in and of course a few hours between meals we decided to celebrate our arrival by going to our favorite restaurant in town. Flatbread Pizza is an absolutely delicious pizza place with all natural ingredients and a huge brick oven right in the middle of the dining room. We usually go to this place a couple of times during the vacation and this time was no exception. This first time we went I got one of their yummy house salad made with mesculin greens with celery, carrots, seaweed and sesame seeds. It's tossed in this fruit juice dressing made with lots of garlic and pepper. We also got quite a few pizzas between us and ate them vehemently like the plane was going down. One of the specials this night in particular was a veggie pizza with fresh mozzarella, basil, and balsamic vinegar. MMMMMMMM. I have not a bad word to say about this place. I also had wine.

We spent the next few days hiking and swimming and participating in various outside activities. If there's one thing necessary after vigorous physical exercise it's a delicious meal. My stepmother did not disappoint. One night she made her famous corn cheddar chowder served with cornbread and a big homemade salad. The meal went by wonderfully until, purely out of good humor, I poured a little hot sauce in my brothers soup bowl, and he freaked out and stormed out of the room. If he had just given it a try he would have realized how delicious it was. Both of my brothers drove me crazy with their blatant refusal to try new things. I guess when I was that age I was probably the same way. Hopefully, eventually they'll come around. Another night Kema made steamers and grilled scallops with rice and grilled vegetables. Steamers, if you don't know, are basically just steamed clams. Honestly, I wasn't too in love with them, but I did enjoy the act of pulling them out of their shells, dipping them in hot water to get rid of the grit, and then dipping them in butter and hot sauce. The scallops however, were something else entirely. She marinated them first in coconut milk, lemongrass, ginger, and chili paste. I poured the remaining marinade over the rice and veggies and ate it hungrily. Yum.

About halfway through our trip, my good buddy Nicholas, who recently moved to Boston, decided to grace us with his presence. He drove up on a Saturday morning, about two and a half hours out of the city, and met me at the lake house. My parents were running errands at that moment and we took advantage of that time to prepare for the day by going to Dunkin' Donuts. I LOVE Dunkin' Donuts. Can I just say that? I love how New England has them on every corner, I love their coffee, I love Coolattas, I love their wide variety of bagels and muffins, not to mention the glazed namesake. Why Starbucks exists here in Richmond and not DD is beyond me. Anyway, Nicholas got himself a little egg sandwich and I got a coffee, but secretly also a bite of his sandwich. I also was kind enough to pick up donuts for my little brothers. When we got back to the house my parents were home and we all decided to go on a hike and show Nicholas what vacation is all about. After a long day of hiking, then lake swimming and kayaking, Nicholas and I went to Flatbread and feasted hard. We also drank beer. One of the pizzas we got was a BBQ chicken pizza with free range chicken and red onions. I have definitely gotten Nicholas onto the Flatbread train. Hopefully he will take advantage since he lives around where it is. The next day, Nicholas planned to leave, but with my stepmom's powers of persuasion, not to mention the beautiful day looming outside, we convinced him to call in sick to work and stay for one more night. To celebrate his decision we cooked up some eggs scrambled with cheese and various vegetables and some bacon. It doesn't sound like much, but for two unprofessional chefs like ourselves, who barely can cook ramen, this was quite a feat. The eggs were a little dry, and the bacon a little wet, but otherwise, a good solid meal. After that, we went on a serious hike up a mountain that took us about four or five hours. By the time we got back to the house we knew we had earned a feast fit for kings and queens alike. My brother proved his mettle by grilling ribs. Yes, that's right. Ribs. He cooked up two huge racks and splayed them on the table for us like a hunter showing off his prey. We dove right in with all of our hunger building up inside, with no thoughts to the future or the past, until we realized there was not a single napkin or paper towel in the entire house. Boy, you should have seen our faces. A motley crew if ever there was one. After that dinner, my stepmom put the icing on the cake by mixing up some frappes. Frappe is the new england name for a thick ice cream milkshake. It's one of our vacation staples that Kema usually makes with black raspberry ice cream. After sucking those down every last person went into a food induced coma and didn't wake until the next morning.

For Nicholas' last meal, we went to a little place that I had seen many times on the drive to town and always admired the outside of. Peaches, is an cute little breakfast/lunch spot inside of a cottage with big windows facing the street enclosing a little porch. It is, as you can imagine, painted a lovely peach color and has an adorable sign out front with...you guessed it, a peach. Sometimes I am such a sucker for adorable things. It did not disappoint upon entering. The whole place is like a doll house, with lace curtains and silver urns. The hostess was a grandmotherly type while all the waitresses were cute girls. Georgia peaches, if you will. Nicholas dug them. I dug the menu. We decided we definitely needed to get some pancakes. They had a wide variety of different options including the standard chocolate chip and blueberry flavors, but also peaches and cream, and pina colada pancakes. We went a little bold and got 'very berry.' For my main meal, I got a breakfast quesadilla and Nicholas got a chicken crepe. They were both good and we did half and half. I think we may have gotten a bit too daring, but that's sort of par for the course for me at least. They had a whole boatload of other items on their menu that looked absolutely delicious and for the rest of the trip I tried to convince my family to go back, but we never did.

After Nicholas left, we continued on with our vacation fun and kept eating. My family is huge into snacks. There's always someone eating a pretzel or digging around in the bottom of a cracker box, even more so when I'm around. Near the end of the trip we went to town and ate pizza again and on the way out stopped off at this great little general store, Zebs. It has every jam, pickled item, syrup, hot sauce, candy, salsa, you could ever want. It also has a number of cheesy wall hangings and tee shirts. I love it. The woman who rents us our lake house actually works at Zeb's and hooks us up. I went a little nuts with buying food items. I figured I'd pass them off as gifts for friends and then ask for bites. I bought Lisa pineapple chipotle salsa, a chocolate 'moose patty,' and pickled fiddleheads. A fiddlehead, if you've never had one, is a strange bird..although not an actual bird. Not knowing quite what it was, but purely out of curiosity, I bought a jar last year and ate the entire thing. Looking it up now, it is the unfurled fronds of a young fern harvested for food consumption. They are very odd, but the way they pickle them at Zeb's is quite a flavor experience. Anyway, I bought Dawn some spicy mustard, Ryan some buffalo summer sausage, Leslie some maple syrup taffy, etc. I also got a bunch of just random stuff to bring to work and share; peach hot sauce, mango lime salsa, corn relish, more fiddleheads, etc. They have tons of candy and fudge too, but I barely touched the tip of the iceberg with those options. There's always next year.

All in all, a great vacation with perfect company, ideal weather, magnificent scenery, and tasty treats.

Well. I have really done a shitty little job of keeping up with this. Here's where I think the problem came in: When I finally, after what seemed like days, finished my first entry, I went back and over-analyzed, scrutinized, and pored over the text, judging myself, thoughts, and writing beyond the point of ridiculousness. I deemed myself a blubbering idiot and decided to not return to the blog until I felt confident that I could turn things around. (I actually don't feel confident in that fact yet, but the only way to get to that point is to practice). Anthony has been a great help to me on this whole endeavor. He makes lots of suggestions, most of which are above and beyond my capacity, but they still reach me mentally and maybe somehow will push their way through. With that preface, I'll get back to the point, the most important point of this whole business. FOOD.

Obviously, in the however many days since my last entry, I have had many meals. I may have been on sabbatical from blogging, but that in no way means that my eating suffered. Instead of going back in time and doing a ridiculously long and dragging entry, I'm going to start by focusing on the present and the very very recent and most pertinent. Unfortunately I've decided to re-start this on the most boring of food days.

Today was boring because I worked at Joe's Inn, my restaurant, if I hadn't mentioned before, from 7:30 am- 2 and then again from 5- 10pm. This means that, unless I make concerted efforts, all of my meals will happen there. Did I make concerted efforts today, you may ask? No, not especially. This morning, I waited on a bunch of people eating their eggs with cheddar, and it looked so orange and vibrant contrasting with the baby yellow of the yolks, that I figured it had to be delicious. So, when I finally had a free moment I ordered an egg on a bun, on wheat toast, scrambled with CHEDDAR, spinach, mushrooms, and bacon. John Seymore made it up good for me in the kitchen and I was excited to realize that somehow I finally got a warm breakfast at Joe's Inn. Lately I've been feeling that every time I order, a parade of customers waltzes in and my food gets cold in my frenzy of work and bustling.

Which is worse? Cold eggs, or eggs without cheese? They both are bad but I'd have to say eggs without cheese. Regardless, I got warm eggs today, some could even say hot, but the cheese was lacking. Ryan is always talking up cheddar like it's God's gift, but you know what? God gave us American too and that, I believe, is what he wants us to put with eggs. I really need to stop basing everything I eat at work on what everyone else is eating and how good it looks. Looks can be deceiving. Not only a lesson in food, but a lesson in life. I think I also like soft bacon, but that's a whole other thing. In general, my breakfast was good. Toni, a coworker of mine, got a little wild this morning and was floating ideas around with me for a while until she settled on a grilled peanut butter sandwich with bacon. She said that 821 has a similar sandwich on their menu and I told her that I thought Elvis used to eat something like it. She gave me a bite, and I went in with an entirely open mind, but in the end I just tasted it for hours throughout the day and regretted it entirely. Later she told me that she added cold raw banana to it and that it really improved things. I think it would. I told her honey should have been involved and she agreed. I think it would have been a whole other thing. The bacon and the grease were just too overpowering for my blood. Also, it is my basic feeling that peanut butter is only good with sweets. Peanut butter and chocolate, peanut butter and nutella, peanut butter and marshmallow, peanut butter and apple, peanut butter and honey, peanut butter and jelly, etc. But enough about breakfast. (Note: I need to work on segueways).

After breakfast, I continued to have to work and drink coffee. I love drinking coffee in the mornings of working at Joe's Inn. I can have however much I want, whenever I want, with whatever I want. I can dump it out if it's cold. I can make it iced, I can have various cups of it set about throughout the restaurant. It's great. I love the whole drink system there. Sometimes I'l just take a souffle cup and fill it with dr. pepper and take it like a shooter. DP shots. Nothing better. Except club soda with lime and lemon squeezed generously. The other day Clair and Clancy and I were talking about our top 3 favorite drinks of all time. I thought top 5 was more practical but Clair insisted on only 3. My top 3 would be water, coffee, and red wine. Top five would be water, coffee, red wine, club soda, and dr. pepper. I'd really like to also be able to include apple juice, beer, bourbon, and tea. I also really like white hot chocolate.

Tank, in the kitchen, had a birthday mid-day and we all sang to him and there was ice cream cake involved. It was yummy. I wish I didn't oddly hate chocolate ice cream. It's such a travesty I feel. I was ashamed to even say it aloud today. I still ate it, so I guess I don't hate it that much, but something about it just bums me out. Luckily, this cake was tiered and there was chocolate ice cream at the bottom, then yummy little chocolate crunchies, then vanilla ice cream and white frosting. I ate the chocolate part first since it's my least fave, and then dove right into the crunchies. Those were delightful. Then I went home for a mini break, where I also, in a valiant effort to be healthy, rode my bike to ukrops for a big salad. It was basically a pound and a half of greenery. Spinach, broccoli, red and green peppers, edamame, cauliflower, celery, red cabbage, carrots, zucchini, cucumber, roasted pumpkin seeds, and craisins. Whenever I talk about getting a salad from ukrops this is what it consists of. I usually get these four times a week, give or take, just to make sure I get a good healthy dose of veggies. And of course, lots of fiber. I ate this salad for "lunch" at 5, when I got back to work. Work was boring, and when I finally got off, and felt like I had eaten pretty well for the entirety of the day. So, I decided to get something I have been denying myself for quite a while. Pizza. Wynter and I got a small greek pizza with light cheese, extra veggies, and no olives. I poured crushed red pepper all over it, a few dribbles of sririacha, and then spread a very very thin layer of ranch over it all with a butter knife. It was hot and delicious, soft and cheesy. Mmm mmm. I'm not sure that I can name any food better than pizza.

I've never done a blog before, but I'm hoping it'll be fun. This is a food blog first and foremost. I'm not sure of the direction I'm going to take, so I'll just start with my thoughts on the food that I eat throughout the day. Since this weekend was somewhat eventful I'll backtrack and discuss the great meals of the past few days.

On Friday, I started the day off with a peanut butter and oat fiber-one bar. One of my favorite breakfast bars; soft and chewy, low calorie, and chock full of fiber. I think there are about nine grams in one bar. That's almost half of the daily intake that is recommended. After eating that and drinking a couple of bottles of water, I went on a forced run, to try to justify eating like a hog later. When I got home from my run I puttered around hungrily until I finally convinced myself to go to the strawberry street market for one of my favorite quick lunches in Richmond. Their buffalo mozzarella wrap is killer. I bought that excitedly and then wandered over to the couple of soup kettles they have near the deli area. I'm used to expecting the same soups there everyday, but was thrilled to see that they had roasted red pepper and smoked gouda, a brand new one I've never tried. It's really hard for me to pass up anything with gouda. I bought those and walked home quickly, the smell of cheese and peppers wafting from my bag. When I arrived at my house I plugged in the George Foreman and put half my wrap in it. As it grilled, I slurped my soup in a frenzy. It was so good. In every bite I could taste melted Gouda and the sweet peppers. MMM. I hope they have that there more often. Just as I had spooned up every ounce of soup, the wrap was ready. I pulled it out, hot and grill marked, and poured a puddle of sriracha on my plate. The next five minutes were pure pleasure, every bite dipped generously in hot sauce, the melted cheese burning my fingers, the vinegar of the buffalo sauce cut by the clean mozzarella distributed evenly through the wrap. I probably get this about twice a week and have never once looked back.

Just when I thought I'd reached my dining plateau for the day, Lisa called and asked if I wanted to go to Ipanema for this 'wine down' thing where I guess wine is cheap or something. I had nothing better to do so agreed. We rode our bikes down there and enjoyed the warmth of the day. When we arrived we learned that 'wine down' is only Monday through Thursday. We were disappointed, but decided to make the best of it with snacks. I got a glass of white wine anyway, since it was such a nice spring day and we decided to share an appetizer of zucchini fritters. I'd never had these here, as I usually get the Gouda sandwich, but was not at all disappointed. I thought they would be big slices of zucchini fried, but it was actually shredded zucchini mixed in a batter sort of like hush puppies and then lightly fried. They were quite yummy and big too. I like how the people at Ipanema always give you whatever sauce you may need. Without having to ask, they brought us ketchup, sriracha, Dijon, and another mustard sauce that actually came with the fritters. There are few things I love more than sauce smörgåsbords. After that, Lisa would not stop raving about their vegan peach pie, so she ordered the last piece. I'm not usually a fruit pie person, so figured I'd just have a bite or two. When it arrived I halfheartedly dug my spoon into it, adding a little ice cream to the top of the bite and ate it. I cannot even begin to describe how delicious this pie was. It was hot, sweet, creamy, and buttery all in one bite. The fruit was ripe and baked perfectly into the crust that was lethal. The top was crispy and soft all at once, with the ice cream making it the perfect spring evening dessert. I couldn't stop eating it, and kept going back for bite after bite. We started to worry that we were going to need another piece and looked at the desert board to see that they also had a pear-blueberry pie and something with strawberry. We decided to not be cows however, so stuck with the one piece and definitely felt less guilty later for it. That pear-blueberry sounds delicious though, and I'm counting down the days until I get to go back and eat another piece, maybe this time all to myself.

Later that night I got back to my house and ate a salad I had purchased from Ukrops. It was so good in part because they just added hot sweet peppers to the salad bar and they gave that little extra something that my salad has been missing. I also have taken to adding hard-boiled egg whites to my salads and that is quite good as well.

Saturday, I worked in the morning and ordered myself an egg on a bun scrambled with American cheese, spinach, mushrooms, and bacon. Unfortunately, I got busy and wasn't able to eat it until almost 30 minutes after I'd ordered it. The egg was cold and the bun was stiff. Quite tragic. Later on, one of my customers ordered a big breakfast with an extra egg. I put it in the computer but the kitchen didn't read it right and accidentally added cheddar cheese to the eggs. I brought it to him and when I came back he pointed it out. He said he wouldn't usually send something back but he just hates cheese in eggs. It was an honest mistake and I took the eggs back and got him some more, but the most important point to me was... who doesn't like cheese eggs? I hate eggs without cheese. I just can't imagine. I feel badly for him almost. Luckily, since my breakfast was so disappointing, I got to eat his eggs which were nice and warm and fluffy. When Dawn got there, she made herself a little platter of snacks including grits and minestrone soup. Just last week she introduced me to a new combo of lentils and grits and sriracha all mixed together, which turned out to be quite tasty. I had hoped the minestrone would have a similar effect but it didn't. Later, for lunch, I shared a portabella sub with Katie P which also turned out to be a bit of a bummer. It always looks so good when I'm serving it to others, but when I get it I remember how mushy and vinegary it is. I ended up just eating the mushroom part since the bread was so thick and soggy. Ah well. Not everything can be delicious.

After work I had a mimosa with orange juice, champagne, and chambord, a raspberry liquor. So tasty and refreshing. I then went to a surprise birthday party for my friend Cat at these girl's house who are outstanding chefs. They made a home cooked birthday meal for her of fresh pesto and pasta with salad. I feel like it's been a while, probably since my vacation up north, since I've had a good solid meal like that made from scratch. If only my kitchen were bigger and my gas was turned on, maybe I could cook for friends too. I covered that pasta noodle to noodle in crushed red pepper and sucked it down like a hoover. For her birthday dessert Lisa made these oatmeal cupcakes that I can't describe. I don't know what was in them, all I know is that I could have eaten 4+ but stuck to just the one. When I got home I boiled up some broccoli, cauliflower, and edamame and covered it in old bay seasoning. The best healthy snack I know. I pretty much feel like I did not stop eating on Saturday.

Today I woke up feeling like pigaloni from the past couple of days. I had a fiber-one bar and another yummy breakfast treat of raspberry cottage cheese doubles, drank a bunch of water, and ran. When I was running back from Byrd Park I ran into Anthony who was on his way to Subway for the 5 $ footlong deal. I couldn't pass it up, even though I smelled like a men's locker room. We walked to subway where I told him all about this food blog, including how long and tedious this first entry is (sorry) and he expressed agreement that it did sound pretty boring. I'll have to work on that. This is the first time I've really written anything other than an email in a long long time. Anyway, at subway I got a foot long oven roasted chicken breast toasted on honey oat bread with just about every hot pepper or veggie offered. Topped with a little salt and pepper and chipotle southwest and I was good to go. As we were walking back Anthony told me to mention on here that if ever anyone goes to Subway for the tuna salad sandwich they should get it on honey oat with spinach, hot peppers, and sweet vidalia onion sauce. So there you go. Now I'm about to go to work, where I strongly doubt I'm going to eat anything too exciting. I may just bring this boxed instant Indian curry meal that I really like, 'tasty bites sprouts and bean curry.' It's basically already ready, you just have to microwave it. I usually add broccoli, cauliflower, and sriracha. On the fiber front, this stuff has about 14 grams. Wowser. Then again, I may just eat a grilled cheese at work and call it a day. I guess I'll have to report back tomorrow. Until then, uhh....happy eating? Bon appetit? It all sounds kind of trite. I'll keep brainstorming.